What is Philia?

Philia is a beautiful word that describes a special kind of love based on mutual care, shared interests, and companionship. While Agape is a one-way street of grace, Philia acts like a two-way bridge that connects us with others. In the New Testament, it highlights the affectionate bonds between friends, family members, and even the unique relationship Jesus had with His disciples.

1. The Power of Choice: David and Jonathan 

   One of the most heartwarming examples of Philia is the friendship between David and Jonathan. 

   “The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” (1 Samuel 18:1) 

   Their connection wasn’t just about politics; it was a deep emotional bond. They supported and protected each other, showing that Philia can be just as strong—if not stronger—than family ties.

2. Jesus and the “Beloved Disciple.” 

   Some people think the New Testament only cares about Agape, but that’s not the case! Jesus often lived out Philia in His relationships. He didn’t see His disciples as just “servants” but as true friends. 

   For example, in John 11:3, 36, when Lazarus was sick, his sisters told Jesus, “Lord, he whom you love [phileis] is ill.” When Jesus saw the tears of those around Him, they remarked, “See how he loved [ephilei] him!” 

   And in John 15:15, Jesus makes it clear: “No longer do I call you servants… but I have called you friends.” How amazing is that?

3. The Command to “Philadelphia.” 

   The writers of the New Testament often paired Philia with Adelphos (which means brother) to create the word Philadelphia—brotherly love. 

   In Romans 12:10, we read, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love [Philadelphia],” and in Hebrews 13:1, it says, “Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters.” This tells us that being part of a church should feel like being part of a warm, caring community where we genuinely like and support each other.

Why Philia Matters Today:

In our increasingly digital world, it’s easy to feel connected yet lonely. That’s where Philia comes in! It reminds us that: 

– Vulnerability is a strength: True friendship means being open with one another. 

– Consistency is key: Philia grows over time as we share experiences together. 

– God cares about our feelings: The fact that Jesus practiced Philia shows that our emotional connections and deep friendships are wonderful gifts from the Creator.

The Takeaway:

While we aim to love everyone with Agape (that unconditional kindness), let’s also make an effort to cultivate Philia—those deep, “knit-soul” friendships that make our journeys in faith much more enjoyable and less lonely!